I'll leave it to 30

It's officially a month in Singapore time, a month and 3 hours in Melboune time. And another 1 hour to go in Medan time.

A month it will be and no more count for me. 

     11. 23 pm     

        still 29        

My eyes!

Need to be strong for another 1 hour,my eyes!!!!

Pass 00:00 and i'll let you rest!

please~~~ X(

Days which I haven't tell my blog yet. XP

This one actually is my Saturday morning post :

=PPP

OmG,who's missing me this morning? I'm sneezing like .....5 in a row? =="

Another gloomy morning for this weekend.=]

I love this weather,a perfect one to start my day..haha.

I'm so in the mood to spend some time with you this morning,B.

So,here are some pictures :

 Boris' house! =]

 Quest XD

 Vito, Spongebob and me!

 Hello! Let me introduce Uncle Randy!

After Chamber's concert~ =3

Lyric.

슬픔이 점점 아픔으로
아픔이 다시 조금씩 외로움으로
니 모든 걸 바쳐도 그게 모자랄 때
비틀 거려 뭔가 잡을게 필요할 때 생각해

'Cuz I'm your friend forever.

Don't forget.

 

(Friends by Rain ; 4th album)

Another summer day has come and go away.

Tomorrow's Saturday,Sunday and another week will come again.

Really think I need something new in my life. I can't find out what it is though.

Today's not bad,B. I spent this gloomy day with a pretty well done test and some stupid advice for my friend, Mingpha, today.

and another "lu si cumiq su sih?" for today too. hahahahhaa.

Really going to end it all like this.pretty cold ei? 

Just hope I won't regret it this way. I sometimes too feel like I'm one of those silly lebhay creatures (exp. girls) , B. I don't want to be one.

So,my decission today : no more counting soon if it reaches 30 and just a cold ending will be good.

The count

I should stop counting soon.

As soon as I can, i'll stop my count.

When everything will just be like this and everything is called regret, i will stop counting.

Everytime I come to that moment,myself will again refuse to be the me i used to be. =="

Funny,huh?

Everytime I come to that moment,myself will tell my 마음 to let things flow like these days.

It says," It won't change anymore."

I'm exhausted. really. keep telling myself to be strong is the hardest of all.

Btw, i had a great exam today,I'm spending my time now not studying tomorrow's subject. =="

Stupid.

Haiiizzzzzzzzzz.

I've had a really bad day today,B. =="

Stupid test and stupid me.

Another stupid test and stupid me AGAIN for tomorrow. 

30minutes to 24th.

what should i do what should i do what should i do what should i do

Maybe i just need to erase all, needn't I?

I don't know what to do~~~~ ><

B,i never know to do this stuff is harder than ever.

Tests are coming and i still the same.

Going to face bad bad bad marks i think~

TT

Going through 23rd.

What kind of girl do things like I did,right?

Kata-kata itu masih berbekas di otakku.

Rasanya baru kali ini aku menyakiti orang lain sedalam itu.

Bahkan diriku tidak tahu harus berbuat apa, membuat orang lain sebegitu susahnya karena aku.

I never saw him like that.

like that night.

As long as i recall,being his friend never makes me saw that part of him. Still,his words really stucked deep in here.

I never saw him that mad. like that night.

I never mean to lie.

I never think by deleting him will be the best way to end all of it.I never think by doing what i did will end all of it. 

I just don't understand why i keep doing things like stop talking,stop everything i used to do. Stop laughing from my heart is one of them. =="

It really sucks.

This one is the best way to celebrate the 22nd i think.

I now know,writing is the other way to substitute anger n sadness.

Like you said,what kind of girl do things like I did. Maybe you are right. 

I'm not a really good friend, am I ? =]

TT really means TT. I never lie about it.

Hey,you really hurts people when you talked like that one. 

We are hurting each other,aren't we? hhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm nuts.

I'll stay in purple.Darkest one. 

Will it be black? worst.

=P

People,i really think I am mad right now.

hahahahahaha

Even tears won't accompany me anymore. 

Tears has bored seeing me like this.

=PPP

"Seeing you is a tear" , like you said.

When I thought it was all over,it's getting worse...

The worst one i've ever done,B.

I typed "I hate you"

Yes,it is me who is typing.

And that pinch comes again.

I don't know why,i don't have any will to talk to you.

Even to get into your car will make me think twice.not like before.

=] Morning Sunday!

 

B,Nickhun wore the same glasses like we have! XDDDD

Ei,look at Victoria,as i see and see and see and see,she looks like one of my friend + make up , doesn't she?

Hmppphfffffff

Hmmph.

Think and think and think.

Maybe you're right,Rand... =]

Just a day

I went to Synergy today,B. 

=]

At least I have some clues about the university now~

My body's still aching.= ="

I skip school today, I think better like this. 

I skip today's 'pinch' by not going to school...

Begitulah.

Orang berpikir itu mudah untuk sekedar mengabaikan apa yang mengganjal dalam hati.

Tidak semudah itu,kawan2~ =]

That's why life's hard.

P.S. My body's aching this morning,B! 

aaargh~ serasa bru siap lomba nari aja...pdhal kmrin g ngapa2in pun~ =="

Just stop

Stop reading these things if it hurts you. 

Really,i mean it.

I just need a place,at least writing to you.

...............another one

Again.

I want to cry right now.

Help me..

Empty

Pretty tired today,B~

Umm..too tired i mean. huufffff.

I dunno how to describe today,B.

It's too empty~~~ ='(

17th Nov 2010, an empty day for me.

Just Once

Nite,B~

I've been through a very hard day today. Damn tired, I wonder how's my friends who work at school till an hour ago .
T T

Sorry I cant help you much......=(

We will finally have our Logo Ceremony tomorrow~ Please let He bless us so that our performances' smooth n nothing's wrong,B...

Let me have a fun day tomorow, with all of my friends.
Don't let me regret a day without him or them,B....
I want all of them in my bestie memories~

It's only once in my lifetime... X((((

Let me be a strong one tomorrow! X((

Gloomy

Morning,B..

Another gloomy day He gives us,rite?

Tomorrow's 17th Nov 2010.The day has finally come! hahaha.

Hope we'll do our best tomorrow..

I'm going to school and have another busy day after this post.Wish I can do the best today....

Accompany me to do all those jobs,B,so that I won't be alone like any other days. 

Still blue,

C

Trying

          Bukan karena aku ini ingin berbuat seperti ini.Bukan karena aku sanggup maka aku berbuat seperti ini. Bukan karena aku benci sama kamu baru aku berbuat seperti ini. Bukan. Bukan. Bukan. Bukan. Bukan. Bukan.

Aku tahu, kamu akan bertanya,"Lalu, mengapa? Jika memang ini menyakitkan juga bagimu, kenapa kamu lakukan?"

"..."

         Aku tidak bisa mengeluarkannya dari mulutku, karena diriku juga tidak paham yang sebenarnya dirasakan batinku. Jujur,selalu ada sesuatu jika aku melihatmu. T T

Aku tidak tahu apa itu. Selalu memicu aku untuk kembali menangis. Menangisi diriku. Itu menyakitkan, menyedihkan. Aku tahu, tidak seharusnya aku melakukan sesuatu seperti ini kepada seseorang seperti dirimu. Kamu sudah banyak membantuku. Aku tahu,kamu selalu ingin tahu apa itu.

          Aku hanya bisa mengetikkan rasa yang aku rasakan. Aku sendiri tidak mengerti bagaimana setiap tindakanmu bisa membuatku seperti ini? T T

Seperti ada suatu cubitan dalam diriku. T T

Maaf jika aku menyusahkanmu. Maaf jika memang aku merusak hari-harimu. Bukan hanya dirimu yang merasakan susahnya seperti ini. Aku juga. Aku juga merasakan yang namanya kehilangan rumah untuk berbicara setiap aku memiliki kesusahan.

          Bukan mudah untuk tidak menegurmu setiap aku melihatmu, mendegar suaramu, apalagi membaca gerak gerikmu.Tapi selalu saja ada yang menghalangiku. Bukan mudah untuk mecari rumah baru pendengar cerita-ceritaku.

          Umm, mungkin saat itu aku mulai berpikir, aku harus menjadi sesuatu yang lebih baik lagi. Mungkin sejak itu aku merasakan sesuatu seperti ini. Aku tidak tahu mengapa setiap kamu berusaha berbicara denganku saja bisa membuatku menangis, belum lagi jika kamu mulai merasa tertekan karena aku. Itu terlebih lagi sangat menyiksaku. Aku sendiri tidak mengerti sejak kapan kamu mulai menjauh dariku. Aku tidak tahu mengapa setiap hal yang kamu perbuat dapat menyebabkan aku seperti ini. Mungkin sampai aku bisa melepaskan rasa seperti ini,aku baru dapat kembali ke diriku yang sebelumnya.

Bukan aku tidak mau,aku juga sedang berusaha.. T T

Ini bukan mudah, ini menyakitkan.

Smoga kamu membaca tulisanku ini......

C

Blue

B,I don't know where to start.

When to stop.

It feels like only this blog accompany me.

T_T

Can you make me stop dropping this tears?

Just 1 day. 

At least 1 from this entire week. 

It's so hard for me to get up and go to school.

I have my exam tomorrow,i don't feel any exam right now. Where's my feeling?

Is she there with you? 

Huff....

I just wish i could talk.

Today's blue.

Only blue.

...

=(

I shed tears again.

This one can't stop.

Stop it.

A Chat will do?

Huuffff....... i wrote a lot this month,werent I? hhhhhh. 

Don't laugh at me,B. It's called sick. =(

I really want my life back. I really do. It's just..... 

How to tell you? 

It's not like I'm not willing to talk to you as usual because I'm happy to do it.

It's not funny,i know. 

Umm,i don't know the best way to tell you. 

tell me if you read this,a chat will help,___ .....

 The interesting part that now i know how's the way you treat people you dont really know / doesn't know you so well....

 MU =|

-C-

Hurted Longer

I need to be a person who can control myself.

IneednImust!

Do I have to sleep with this feeling.not comfortable.even i'm sleepy ?

For the rest of my High school?????

If it's the best way for me not to hurt _ any further,i choose to hurted longer.

Until it's all done.

What about you?

Don't you think we
need to talk?

I Do

It's not you.

30 minutes feels like tearing _ again n again,B.

Is it my fault to do something like this?

Please tell _ it's not _ fault.It's just me....

Please dont let _ hurt _self again n again.

It's hard to see every single words _ said.

It's pain.

I'm still me,it's only a different package.

It's not like it doesn't hurt me at all.

FIY,B,I'm still a mortal too.

I know what's pain.what's hurt.

No more..

I think,

that call? will soon fade.

that attention? will soon be none.

that care? will be no more.

that talk? will be once in our lifetime?

I don't know. Maybe until I can change myself to be a better one.

at least for myself.

It's hard

It's not funny,keep monitoring WMessenger's page just to see r u popping out on my friend online list or not.

It's not easy to keep thinking you you and you all day.

It's not easy keep seeing you wherever i keep my eyes focus at.

It's not easy for me every time you appear in my desktop with a little green symbol besides your PP.

It's not easy to look at you.

It's not easy to talk with you.

It's not easy to see you as the way i used to.

Please throw away this pinch.i hate it.

Just turn me back to normal.

T_T

C @the2nd day.

Right into ....

Here it comes,a pinch right into my heart.

have you ever feel the same thing before?

I hate this feeling. Like i'm reading a novel,yes,just like that. 

When that sad page comes right infront of my eyes. 

So what's the difference? 

Well, if it's a novel, it'll just be a story. 

When it's you,it'll be my story.

It comes again

Can you give me an answer?

I hate the feeling like this one. I cant do things i should have done these days.

It's not like this is my first time to come to the end like this, i just hate it everytime it comes to me.

Pain.

I hate it.

Go away.

Cant I just be me the way i used to?

Ugh~