A Chat will do?

Huuffff....... i wrote a lot this month,werent I? hhhhhh. 

Don't laugh at me,B. It's called sick. =(

I really want my life back. I really do. It's just..... 

How to tell you? 

It's not like I'm not willing to talk to you as usual because I'm happy to do it.

It's not funny,i know. 

Umm,i don't know the best way to tell you. 

tell me if you read this,a chat will help,___ .....

 The interesting part that now i know how's the way you treat people you dont really know / doesn't know you so well....

 MU =|

-C-

It's not you.

30 minutes feels like tearing _ again n again,B.

Is it my fault to do something like this?

Please tell _ it's not _ fault.It's just me....

Please dont let _ hurt _self again n again.

It's hard to see every single words _ said.

It's pain.

I'm still me,it's only a different package.

It's not like it doesn't hurt me at all.

FIY,B,I'm still a mortal too.

I know what's pain.what's hurt.

No more..

I think,

that call? will soon fade.

that attention? will soon be none.

that care? will be no more.

that talk? will be once in our lifetime?

I don't know. Maybe until I can change myself to be a better one.

at least for myself.

It's hard

It's not funny,keep monitoring WMessenger's page just to see r u popping out on my friend online list or not.

It's not easy to keep thinking you you and you all day.

It's not easy keep seeing you wherever i keep my eyes focus at.

It's not easy for me every time you appear in my desktop with a little green symbol besides your PP.

It's not easy to look at you.

It's not easy to talk with you.

It's not easy to see you as the way i used to.

Please throw away this pinch.i hate it.

Just turn me back to normal.

T_T

C @the2nd day.

I'll Miss You

Hai,B~ =3

Again n again so sorry that u v to b a victim of a -not so lifeless- person like me,not updating her life,even its also exciting sumtime..

I read someone's blog this morning.About college n bla bla bla.I decided to write again after that. I kinda emo these days,B.dunno why.I should tell you how's life these couple of weeks.Full of stupid things like logo,dances,choreo,headache and last but not least,it's all about friends. One of them's not willing to talk to me for almost 2 weeks you know,well,1 week 2-3 days. I know its not that BIG problem, but somehow i hv that strange feeling if i stop talking to one of them.A part of my life is missing for whole week.hhh. 

He started talking to me again yesterday,really TALKING i mean,not only calling my name for about 2 seconds n then =X *silent mode comes* I dunno what should i do after that,it's kinda weird to face him after that. The funniest part was when i yelled a person next to me,it appears that the one i yelled to was him.Argggh~ I really regret it that time,hhhh,the first thing popped out in my mind was 

"Shit,he'll absolutely stop talking to me again for the next 1 week!"

I hope that he wont talking to me only for the sake of my class.Only for dance n choreo.

Now,move to K.

I was kinda shock.Not 'kinda',just erase it. 

I'm shocked (coz still shock) when i knew that K plans to hv his major @Sydney. I never imagine that far.Well,for him. =P

When i think n think n think think think think.This one really wakes me up that i ve a really limited time to spare with all my friends,and it also tells me that i hv REALLY LIMITED TIME to choose my major. GEEEJUZZZ~~~ pweaseieeeeeee~~~ T^T Help meh!

I wrote the letter for him starts from yesterday nite.Wondering how will i face my day without K and others. Really hope that it'll go smooth,nothing hard. *huff.

Last for today before i take my bath n go to BeeS, a message for K,tell him if you read this blog. Or if you read this,K,this is a message for you,maybe i will write it in our letter,but mybe not oso. =P

"Dear,K.thankiu for being my friend.Hhhhhh. I should say that i'll miss the freak u,the -i dun know but well i'll try- u,the way you want to entertain people as long as they'll be happy,the way you accompany ur friends although u r not that GOOD in the things you do. Maybe i know you for only 2-3 years,but i 'm willing to know you more.If u really go for ur major @Sydney,dun forget me (classic) Maybe u'll forget,just dun ever act like u never know me. Last one.Remember.Just be you. I'll be grateful if you done this one in ur life. =3  I'll miss you SURE! =D "

Okay.time to shut down the lappie. It's 9:30 know and they will sure wait for me @Bees...

Love you all.

The sky's so emo this morning.Will my heart too? XD

-Change my name-

C~

I hate a relatonship.Because when it started,i knew my heart will regret it the most.

Hey,B...
sorry for not telling you my stories these days.But hey,i'm here now =3
I'm  really happy for today,although i feel bad for my friends who didnt win the matches at school~
fight for next year guys!!!!!!!!!!!

I went out with the girls today, but my heart's at school. For him, her, them and my class...=]
I heart them really,till my heart hurted if it has to be teared apart from them.As you know,B,I'll be finishing my study at Meth-3 soon,not soon,it's next year,next year is just like a blink of eyes....*_*"
I realised it in the first day of new year that I'll be missing my friends like shit. It'll hurt my heart to the core...like 1~2 years ago,when i was forced to leave my friends,it made me sick those days.I remember it clearly.I cried till I dream. Mybe It'll be "I cry till I passed out" for next one.hahaha.

That's why I hate a relationship,when it meets its end,it hurts us the most.
It's too late, if i could, i wanted to change the way i met them.The way i like them,the way i heart them,the way i spent my time and days with them, the way i shared our stories, laughter, sadness.......Yet the one  I regret most that i cant tell myself in the past to better appreciate my life and time with them, i want to tell myself in past to knew them earlier,to better care for them, to become a better person as their friends, sisters, brothers and a place for them to lean...

For them,i cant help myself to lose them..

A....W,Gigi,Gracie and I

Love YOU full~