I feel so sad. again.Can't tell her this.
I'm not brave enough to do this to her.
Today I'm going to register my specialism course in Semester 2, but I'm in doubt.
Really doubt what I'm choosing,the path I have to choose is horrible for me. What if, this isn't the path I want? What if I only listen to others compliments and never search in the deepest part of my heart , who am I?
I cry alot this week, sitting infront of my laptop makes me cry,chit chatting with my friend makes me shed my tears, looking at the TV makes me cry, even looking at the white space in my room makes me cry. I don't know why is this happening to me. Waking up in the morning hasn't been as exciting as it used to be, I often feel sad just right after I open my eyes to see where I am. Do I even enjoy my life? I doubt it. Actually, I feel alone, months here doesn't mean that I can't find any new friends here, yes I can, but I just feel they aren't those what I've been searching for.
I have to leave or at least try to avoid those people who even give me another pressure, who can't even realize how I care about them.
Can't you understand my feeling when I really need you to listen and give me some thoughts of yours? It is not that I've been so greedy that I want you to just listen and listen and listen to my nags, but can't you just give one time for me, when you just listen and try to understand me? What you do all this time was keep telling me about you you you and only you when I'm telling you my problems, telling you things that you said you want to know about me. Don't you realize how annoying somebody are when they interrupt you serious conversation with him? When I stop telling you things, you said that I treat you differently because I can't open myself and tell you what I want to say. So,what should I do? You keep doing this to me that I'm tired, I try not to and just live my life normally but I can't.
If only somebody read this, can you pass this post to this person I'm talking about ?
You never know how you treat me. When I'm this miserable, sometimes you make it horrible... :)
