I don't get it myself. I got jealous over silly things. Stupid stuffs.

:(

:(

I feel like I've been a bad person this time.

A very bad one.

The egoistic one.

:((((

:'(

f-ed

super duper annoying headache is murdering me since last night.
and still I type a post. *LARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII TABRAK TEMBOK*

Welcome

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

I never told you who read this blog before,

yeah, welcome to my life.

All Those Fairy Tales Are Full of Shits

One more fucking love song, and I'll be sick.

Goofy

Ngga terasa, besok.... ya uda Senin lagi. *BIGBIGSIGH*

I seriously don't even count down my limited days here, and it's just like I don't even get anything from my holidays here, lack of memories / photos to be carried back to Spore. I'm just sad, but I don't know what exactly made me sad. :'(((( 

5 of us usually went out around Medan, yet I don't even have one photo of the complete five of us to be put in my wallet. :(

He has came back for a week now yet I don't really have time to have fun with him. it's just........... ._. I'm not that type of person who love to whine and whine and whine, I know I'm kinda troublesome enough as a girl and as a friend, then I don't want to ask more then what's offered. But I'm also a human, I wait and wait and wait for those offers to come. :( It's more than enough to see them get to laugh and joke at each other, it's more than enough for me to feel how he felt when the other he has went back here. But then..... maybe "I fell incomplete." will describe me best? :(((( 

I get mad, I can be sulky but trust me I never show it too long. :'( Because when I did that, I feel like I'm a kind of very very annoying girl and I hate it. T^T But then.... I feel like I'm not respected at all, people seems to take me for granted. and why is that, guys? :((((((

Too much :( emot in this post, I know. That' just what I feel. I may :) :D or even :DD , moreover laugh in tears, yet after that I feel..... flat? i feel incomplete. something or someone is missing from my happiness, yet that happiness become so fade and finally disappear.

What should I do? I can't sit and just face myself like this. I hate this. and I don't know what to do to comfort myself, what to do to put me into a good sleep every night without lots of things popping up in my mind. 

You know what? I thought when he came back here, I will have sometime to sit down and share lots of my burdens, but then now? I don't think it will happen. 

it's just me or people? it's me who change and became like this, or others did?

Maybe I also mad at myself?

for being a useless person. I'm ashamed at myself in some point of view. I don't think the 'me' now is just not a dependable person? seems like people don't even bother to count on me.

I don't know what I exactly miss.

is it lust, envy, jealous or need?

Do I miss care or is it just a need?

Do I miss the actual person or maybe it's just nice to have someone nagging about everything you do, giving simple comments or advice on everything you do, showing that he/she care about you anytime anywhere?

Yup, maybe I miss that. 

But then, is it really a 'miss' or is it a 'need'?

Am I the only one who suffer from this or the other side do too?

I'm dazed.

I don't know what to describe myself right now.

Seems like... again. I lose people who care about me, maybe not right away, but then slowly but sure, one by one. I make myself alone. I hate this 'me'. I don't know how to get those people back. 

I'm a goofy.

Your Will?

Just came home from breakfast with them.
Guess what?
I're totally overslept this morning and it made me sit down infront of TV watching Naruto instead of visiting Daddy's home. == fml this week, seriously~
Last night I decided what to pray about this morning, and it turned out that I weren't able to join my friend. So my conclusion is that.... this thing that I wanna pray about, it's not meant to be prayed for me. sigh. Is this really your will, Dad? Not even a chance? :(