just finished reading the whole blog of my friend's. ==" I have been following his inactive blog these years. stupid right? =="
Oh, I'm in a very very good mood now. :)
Remember my post 'bout my drawings for Visual and Presentation, I realized that I didn't put my best effort on it and not too satisfied for it, but guess what? I'm so so happy that my file's actually one of those files which were selected to be featured in my school's exhibition in fashion. hehehehehe. I didn't go and take a look of the exhibition, that's why I didn't know. :p
I get back my file though. :)
It's not about how high is my mark, but proud and that 'feel' of existence + acceptation.
Sometimes I feel like drawing can makes me feel alive for seconds, while I'm too bored of this world.
And after that I realized that I must be positive that I can go through this.
This is my decision back then, and I've to be responsible for it. No matter how harsh it can be.
I hate those irresponsible persons, those MAN who know nothing about RESPECT.
Sometimes I want to give up, just give up on everything in art. in fashion. seems like I don't belong in it. But then if I really give up on this things, what will I be? a broken person. I don't want that.
I've been surviving in things that you guys never know about me, till today. Just some of them who really know 'this part of me' that even my mom can't tell. Yes, Yes. I know. Sometimes I could be that introvert. You can call me whatever you want. You can judge me as a person that 'choose' who to be my friends. But actually.... no. That's not the point. I just can't see the 'willingness' in you to know and appreciate the real me, that's the main reason...
Oh,why am I talking about this? =="
I'm actually happy that I begin to feel that I actually can live with or without you.
Day by day, it has became clearer that I'm indeed 'nothing' for you. i don't think that even a title of 'friend' suits me. I often think, 'Do I really know you or maybe it's me the one that tried to hard to believe that I'm actually mean something in your life?'
I think the answer is the second one.
I can't stand being a person that has to deal with 'understanding' the whole time, while the other person only 'need the care and understanding again and again'
any relationship, even the so-called 'friendship' doesn't work like that.
So what am I? haha.
But what's bugging me is.... why do you seems to come every time I've decided to give up? It's kind of annoying. :)
Oh, I'm in a very very good mood now. :)
Remember my post 'bout my drawings for Visual and Presentation, I realized that I didn't put my best effort on it and not too satisfied for it, but guess what? I'm so so happy that my file's actually one of those files which were selected to be featured in my school's exhibition in fashion. hehehehehe. I didn't go and take a look of the exhibition, that's why I didn't know. :p
I get back my file though. :)
It's not about how high is my mark, but proud and that 'feel' of existence + acceptation.
Sometimes I feel like drawing can makes me feel alive for seconds, while I'm too bored of this world.
And after that I realized that I must be positive that I can go through this.
This is my decision back then, and I've to be responsible for it. No matter how harsh it can be.
I hate those irresponsible persons, those MAN who know nothing about RESPECT.
Sometimes I want to give up, just give up on everything in art. in fashion. seems like I don't belong in it. But then if I really give up on this things, what will I be? a broken person. I don't want that.
I've been surviving in things that you guys never know about me, till today. Just some of them who really know 'this part of me' that even my mom can't tell. Yes, Yes. I know. Sometimes I could be that introvert. You can call me whatever you want. You can judge me as a person that 'choose' who to be my friends. But actually.... no. That's not the point. I just can't see the 'willingness' in you to know and appreciate the real me, that's the main reason...
Oh,why am I talking about this? =="
I'm actually happy that I begin to feel that I actually can live with or without you.
Day by day, it has became clearer that I'm indeed 'nothing' for you. i don't think that even a title of 'friend' suits me. I often think, 'Do I really know you or maybe it's me the one that tried to hard to believe that I'm actually mean something in your life?'
I think the answer is the second one.
I can't stand being a person that has to deal with 'understanding' the whole time, while the other person only 'need the care and understanding again and again'
any relationship, even the so-called 'friendship' doesn't work like that.
So what am I? haha.
But what's bugging me is.... why do you seems to come every time I've decided to give up? It's kind of annoying. :)
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