Open Your Eyes, Ears and Heart

hi,hi.

Another boring days. Oh, I feel this week is the worst one ey. >< dunno why. Maybe this is what period does, huh? Everything seems annoying. Oh, and before I forget about this, I'm currently annoyed by someone. == I thought this person has changed, but I was wrong. Still the same stubborn person who used to forget promises and cancel things with no burdens. luckily he's one of my old buddies, I really wanna kill him for real. Hate him for being the 'bla bla bla'  him sometime. =3=

So, tomorrow's the beginning of another weekend. Yes, another weekend which means I don't have much time to spend here soon. And seems like no one really bother me, I somehow feel...... alienated? sigh. It's not just once, more than times. So just you know, most of the time I halt my intention to stop giving my opinion in our groups (read : friends' group, Quest,bbm, etc) . Because one thing I realize was that... They don't really care  about your existence, it's like i were talking to myself and not my friends. I'm tired, my dear. I'm also a human. Maybe this is my time to stop giving things to others and just wait and see? And slowly recognize who really there. I'm not exaggerating, I'm just.... desperate? ._____.  They will have a gathering tomorrow afternoon, and I convinced myself not to show myself there. I won't be there. When this gathering happens maybe... a year ago, I'll surely took part in it. But not this time. I don't think even if I try to mix water and oil it will be blended well. Therefore, I don't have any urge to join that so called 'a day of joy', maybe I'll regret it one day, but not tonight. Many people ask me this question, "For how long will you stay with them? Stop that patience and just leave if you want to." and here I am. Doing my first attempt. Maybe if you, readers, ask yourself why am I doing this, first ask your own heart, how will you feel if you've asked for more than 10 times and people just ignore you in that spot, seems like you are not as precious as what you think they are for you. Yes, it's painful and unfair. :)

Oh, and here I am remember about a thing that I think I have to share to you tonight and maybe it'll be better typed in.............

Gue tau, Anda sekalian mungkin merasa orang itu tidak sepantasnya menjadi orang yang layak untuk gue ataupun temen-temen gue sebut sebagai 'kawan'. Maafin gue juga kalau gue salah menilai orang. Yet I believe, tidak sepantasnya seseorang or a bunch of people keep on mocking someone who never even touch a string of you hair, no? Anda sekalian boleh saja menyebut-nyebut yang tidak baik ataupun menyebar cerita-cerita mengejek buruk apa pun, itu hak Anda. I appreciate it. Tapi tidakkah Anda malu? Ketika Anda mulai menilai orang tersebut tanpa mengenal dia dengan baik, Anda telah menjatuhkan martabat Anda sendiri? Mungkin menurut Anda orang tersebut tidak pantas bersandang dengan orang-orang seperti KITA (ya, I include myself to this so called community), tapi tolong camkan ini baik-baik, tidak pernahkah Anda berpikir kalau terkadang kita tidak lebih baik daripada orang tersebut? Everybody has their own flaws, gue ga nyalahin siapa pun dalam post gue kali ini. Cuma, yah.... jika ada yang merasa dirinya saya sindir disini, mulailah berpikir. Saya tidak membela siapa pun disini. Do I need to put a fake smile here? oh yes, I think so. :)  Bukan berarti seseorang yang selalu tampak buruk ato seSETAN apa pun dia, dapat seenaknya kita perolok dimanapun kita berada. terkadang gue diemin, karena menurut gue that's fine, tapi terkadang hinaan Anda berlebihan, walau terkadang jujur saya malu ikut diperolok, tapi saya lebih MALU melihat teman saya yang menghina orang lain yang kebetulan disebut-sebut sebagai kawan saya. Ya, berkawan dengan siapa dan bagaimana adalah hak saya, of course no? I get it. Gue ga berusaha melindungi siapa pun disini, hanya saja, yah, kenapa ga langsung di muka orangnya saja kalian menghina dia? Kenapa harus dibelakang? Nah, kalaupun mau diperolok di belakang, make sure your work is clean. get it?  Kalau mau ngata-ngatain orang, yang bersih dong kerjanya, jangan ketauan :)