Many surprises, sad experiences, and excited news over these weeks since I left you, B. It's been awhile of course and I... am grateful for that? I guess so. I am 20 by now and lots of things are changing in my life. Not only mine I guess, but yours too? You just choose not to accept it. maybe.
Many times I thought of writing again, but then I think, I haven't found a new reason for me to 'start over', to write again. I know this kind of statement may be harsh for B and FemmePurplelicious' loyal peepers. I apologize for being that way. However, I really hope you'll understand me for doing so. I really want to stop being a blogger who feel like she knows 'everything' about her readers and how they feel toward her post. I want to stop being a blogger who feels like she gets more attention from a particular person just because that 'living body' has been a loyal peeper of her daily routines since back then and tend to know much more about her than any other people. I want to stop misinterpret that kind of attention until I can really forget that 'living body'. Okay, I learn to appreciate my feeling more than I used to, and I understand that without being awfully exaggerating, I need to at least express and 'say' what I feel. So, the term 'forget' here means to stop liking a person. You know that like, like. I won't use the word 사랑 here, it sounds cheesy. and fake. I would just describe the word like here for me (at least what I feel) is to be able to fall again.and again. and again. and again. for every single different occasion when I met that living body. Even-though I hardly know that person anymore, we hardly talk normally-friend-normal. I don't understand why. Maybe it's just my stupid heart and head. That is why most of the time I decided not to go back hometown. That living body has been so much irresistible that I want to go out there and find any other person,whoever he is, to make me amnesia. (wtf, this is what I call cheesy. lol)
And if this living body is reading this right now. I would like to say 'stop looking at yourself as a person that is remembered only because people need you' . start to value yourself more. I understand that you know me well that we never talk about this anyway, it has been only me since couple of years back then, which means it's fine, as long I don't need to be awkwardly cheesy all the time. It's perfectly fine (only in some ways though), I might just need to struggle with myself for sometime, like staying away from blog and stuffs. You are a very beautiful person, you just need to admit it.
Anyway, I guess I need to post photos here, don't I ?
I have been pushing myself with this revenge plan I have. It's been going well. I just need 7 more freakin kilos and I'm set. This is what I call as my revenge to be appreciated. I'm sick of enduring others all the time. I guess it's my time to be mean, isn't it?
 | |||
| me. a month ago. |
it's raining now. Blue Sunday?
I haven't receive a freakin call from that company. shoot me please. *cryariver*
P.S. There will be a nerve-wracking-exciting-news for you all in November. Stay curious please.
No comments:
Post a Comment