S4 ft Hyuna

Should be proud right, Indonesia?

At least you show us that you know what 'taste' means.
Need improvements though.
Good!

정말

Really - Song Joong Ki

It just released today.

It's famous for its heart-breaking lyric

Happiness.

look at that.
look at how happy we were back then.
look at how much fun we had in that moment.




miss you.

-.-

Good Morning, 내 잠꾸러기... 
I guess I miss someone right now.

help.

having a quite tough time to cure this heartache yet on the other hand trying to stop this thing growing deeper inside me.

Am I Just.... Stupid ?

Feel so disappointed over myself right now. Like what I have done these years are just dust and meaningless.
sigh.
what am i doing now?

I realize that every time I face this kind of situation, I just find myself as a stupid. Too stupid in everything I do. Never really found the comfort of doing things.

What am I actually ?
Am I really that coward ?
that stupid ?

Just If

How if. Just if.
One day you can't find me here anymore?
I think it should be fine, right?
Nothing will really affect your life?

How If. Just If.
One day I decide to push myself away.
Far away.
What would you do?

How If.Just If.
I have started it.
I am doing it right now?

What would you say?

Aura Dione

I heard of her voice while accompanying my girlfriends' shopping, and then I understand why I'm attracted to her songs after checking her out. Enjoy.

i like the lyrics below

 

and maybe other ones? Can check out Aura Dione on google if you are interested after this post.

One Inspiration

 

She has always been that 'it' girl. 

purely inspiration.

remember this?

Inuyasha :)

There You Go Again

... But baby there you go again, there you go again making me love you.
I stopped using my head, using my head let it all go.
And now i'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you.

So I cross my heart, and I hope to die, 

that i'll only stay with you one more night.

Tasteless

 My sister told me last night that I look pretty much like an insane lady talking to herself on twitter. I guess it's just an after effect from not talking to myself over a month in my blog?

I have been feeling this 'emptiness' upon me this week. Unlike my usual birthday, I did passed it quite smoothly this year, no more burst into tears, but maybe this is the after-effect of it. Recently I have this urge upon me to do lots of things in my life, I want to change this and that. As you may know, I'm quite a quicky bored person. I get bored over something fast. So, let me tell you this story. a short one.

I knew this so called human. I usually share things or my plans to him. let's just use the subject 'him', okay? But then after sometime, maybe both of us lost our so called 'quality time?' and never really gained that back anymore. I don't know is it really because of the hectic situation or it's just because one of us doesn't willing to listen to each other's story anymore. I just want to stop guessing. It isn't like we are in some kind of 'a must listen to me' kind of relationship, but then, I realize then when I try to tell him how we have lost this kind of chatime, for him this kind of chat may not be as important as how I view it to be. I don't know how to express myself by now, knowing that he may not realized how much I've valued his opinion so far in most of my decisions. I may say, I'm disappointed. There's so much stuffs I have wanted to share to him, so much plans I've done that I really want to share with him. But then I guess by now.... I have given up on many things. many chances that i imagine might possible to be true. Can I call this kind of thing as a disappointment? 

Maybe he'll never realize how I have put things together so that I might be someone who may be there or at least try to be reached by him anytime if he needs help. really. i just tired of being so 'nicely' being there everytime that I wanted to stop by now. I'm exhausted. I'm used to wake up early just to wake this person up in the morning, I'm used to open my messenger tabs although I don't really use it, it's just for me to be easily reached by him if he need to. So please, don't use busy as an excuse. I understand more than anyone how you have set your goals, trust me. It's just... sometime, I feel much less important than how you have described me to be. If it's so, maybe we should just stop saying things that we can't fulfill from the beginning. Because truthfully if I may say, I keep words seriously, faithfully, and when I trust words I mean it. It's just a heartache every single time I experience this. I will never pick on him, I will never blame on him, maybe it is just me and my mind+heart problem on expecting too much. I believe so.

Fortune Cookies? It Isn't My Luck This Time

        Many surprises, sad experiences, and excited news over these weeks since I left you, B. It's been awhile of course and I... am grateful for that? I guess so. I am 20 by now and lots of things are changing in my life. Not only mine I guess, but yours too? You just choose not to accept it. maybe.

        Many times I thought of writing again, but then I think, I haven't found a new reason for me to 'start over', to write again. I know this kind of statement may be harsh for B and FemmePurplelicious' loyal peepers. I apologize for being that way. However, I really hope you'll understand me for doing so. I really want to stop being a blogger who feel like she knows 'everything' about her readers and how they feel toward her post. I want to stop being a blogger who feels like she gets more attention from a particular person just because that 'living body' has been a loyal peeper of her daily routines since back then and tend to know much more about her than any other people. I want to stop misinterpret that kind of attention until I can really forget that 'living body'. Okay, I learn to appreciate my feeling more than I used to, and I understand that without being awfully exaggerating, I need to at least express and 'say' what I feel. So, the term 'forget' here means to stop liking a person. You know that like, like. I won't use the word 사랑 here, it sounds cheesy. and fake. I would just describe the word like here for me (at least what I feel) is to be able to fall again.and again. and again. and again. for every single different occasion when I met that living body. Even-though I hardly know that person anymore, we hardly talk normally-friend-normal. I don't understand why. Maybe it's just my stupid heart and head. That is why most of the time I decided not to go back hometown. That living body has been so much irresistible that I want to go out there and find any other person,whoever he is, to make me amnesia. (wtf, this is what I call cheesy. lol)

     And if this living body is reading this right now. I would like to say 'stop looking at yourself as a person that is remembered only because people need you' . start to value yourself more. I understand that you know me well that we never talk about this anyway, it has been only me since couple of years back then, which means it's fine, as long I don't need to be awkwardly cheesy all the time. It's perfectly fine (only in some ways though), I might just need to struggle with myself for sometime, like staying away from blog and stuffs. You are a very beautiful person, you just need to admit it.

Anyway, I guess I need to post photos here, don't I ?

I have been pushing myself with this revenge plan I have. It's been going well. I just need 7 more freakin kilos and I'm set. This is what I call as my revenge to be appreciated. I'm sick of enduring others all the time. I guess it's my time to be mean, isn't it?

me. a month ago.

it's raining now. Blue Sunday?

I haven't receive a freakin call from that company. shoot me please. *cryariver*

P.S. There will be a nerve-wracking-exciting-news for you all in November. Stay curious please.