Friday, December 28, 2012

You make me...


Hope it lights up your day :)
Happy Weekend, people.

Last I

Hi. Here i am again. Typing. Doing nothing in the offiice. Well, today is my last day and my office looks like a cemetery now. Most of the staffs are on leave, even my supervisor too. :\ abd she left no job to me and Mabel which means 2 days of boredom in total =____=  I should pack all my belongings now and get my ass outta here right? Right.

But the truth is I spent my morning browsing some nice alluring recipes again. Wondering my to-do list and to-buy list for New Year's celebration and my short holiday. Oh, I really hope everything works well and it'l be another remarkable memory to end the WOW FANTASTIC two ou one two.

At least I've came out with several things that I think will be added on the New Year's eve menu. Anyone want to come and enjoy? ;)
It will be:
Appetisers
> Jap Chae (Korean glass noodle with vegies appetisers! :9)
> The Devils' Egg ( Hard boiled egg, split into two, take out the yolks and blend it with mayo and other stuffs, then scoop it back to its hut on the egg white. hmmmm)
> Prawn Salad (I'll stay classic, with fruits :D )
Entree:
> Corn Fritters (The one your moms' love to cook? with some vegie batter and deep fried it?) , maybe served with Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce
> Bacon Wrapped Chicken (This might be the easier and healthier version of our usual home-made chicken steak by my grandma, I'll ask for her secret spices for this)
> Fried Chicken Bone and Skin (Classic style. Mashed. fried. Trust me, it's way tastier than the old school fried chicken, plus it's sweet after fried...*I can smell it right now*)
Dessert:
> Baked Bread Loaf with cheesecake and strawberry ice cream in it.
> Almond/ Choco Pudding
Drinks:
> White Wine (?)
> Fruit Mocktails (Classic Family style)

Not sure about the dessert and drinks yet, but i think it'll work well. hehehehe. Mango pudding will works well for a parfait too right? yummm~

Oh, I really can't wait to spend my New Year's holiday. Such a short and precious one. *sigh*
busy busy. need to plan everything tomorrow. spend my time wisely ><
Finger crossed!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Here I nag again

Hi! :)


How are y'all? So-so, okay, great? or bad, horrible?
I know some of you are not even in a good 'shape' these days. 2012 has been insane, right? I admit that too. Too many things happened to me that I can't even catch it up by writing all of them here. 
Pardon me for not writing much these days. I don't even know what did I do that I don't even bother to write when I was deadly bored in the office. Okay, at least I'm now sitting on my cubicle typing for you to read this evening. Tomorrow is my last day of internship :) Can't wait for my precious 1 week of holiday before next semester come -___- school sucks in certain point of view, man.

So.... what have I been missing out this couple of months? 
Anyone? I doubt that this blog still has its devoted readers anyway. hahaha. mostly talking to myself, aren't I? Comment in any of my post if you miss my writing,please. I check my blog everyday anyway.hihihi. It just that I'm so unsupported to write any exciting news in it. Live a lil more, my readers, comments and stuffs, so I'll find that fire to tell you some exciting stories.... you know. hehe.

Okay, then....what have been missed in my writing? Besides one of my friends get herself tied in a marriage in her bloody last months of teenage years (Why are you so passionate about being other's wife anyway? I can't understand it until now, and you don't even bother to tell me. wth. Now I think we need to call a meeting between "gossip girls" lol), I also found out that one of my friends' boyfriend has passed away.. Quite a shocking and terrible news, even though I never get to know him, and umm... one of my besties' crush has gotten into a relationship with another guy (okay, I don't know what to comment about this. I'm pretty blunt in my blog, i guess. I must say I'm both sad and happy about this. *nooffense*), one of my best buddies' family issue has gotten worse and so do my buddies way of thinking (I know you'll read this, please don't ever blame any situation or even yourself for what happened and what the future will be. Trust me, you'll crush yourself down way to the very bottom by doing that, my dear), newest one must be a break-up news from one of my favourite hometown-girl (I swear I'll bring you best chocolates i know if I met you soon). See, from all of this news.... I must say none of them makes me really feel happy. Excited? Yes, of course I do. For some of them I do feel excited. I mean...look, I'm not complaining because one of my friends is now a thai" though, but then.... she is now a thai" before 20, and wtf am I in my 21? #foreveralonewthi'm20yosinglelady #np-singlelady-beyonce Get what I mean? 

And I don't even succeeded with my 2012 resolution. Need to weight 55k by the end of this year, and I'm still stucked in this freakin 57s on December 27th 2012. Okay, maybe this is the only thing I really2 happy for myself. =__= even though it's not a huge success, losing more or less 20k in 4-5 months is something to be proud of, am I wrong? You don't have any idea how I miss hometown's cuisines. *sigh* suffered enough from the guilty feeling everytime I swallow nice food. You guys must go on your own diet, and please feel me. huks huks. >< okay, at least it worth the sacrifice. I now must say goodbye to my whole closets -_- those things worth some money looooooo (neverendingregrets) , at least I get 2 number smaller. Paid off I guess. What do you think? :\

Ugh, I want to watch Jack Reacher so bad and that Jacky Chan 12 signs of zodiac's movie toooooo. Weekend, everyone wait until I watched them please, then you can go and watch them. Don't make me jealous~ >< or else come and watch it with me!! :'(

Oh, I cooked some goodies for Christmas. Utterly satisfied! :) yum,tender,perfect texture and taste. hhihi. My lil sis ate a lot, I'm so happy every time she eats my creation scrumptiously. As most of you know, she's sooo soooo soooooo skinny that I can't help myself to think of ways to feed her lots of carbo and fats. This is one way of great and effective treatment for diet anyway, I can cook what I want to eat so badly (fats and carbo) but instead of feeding myself, I feed her. hhehehehe. Win-win solution :D Hmm, I've spent half of my day browsing and examining recipes for New Year's Eve Dinner, haven't find any exciting dish anyway. le sigh. 

Ugh, and I miss some of them. =3= but i guess they don't. They seems great, well feed and happy. huh. Most of the nights I spend by thinking of how stupid I am missing people who don't even bother about your existence. Please careless and stop doing this kind of stupid thinking and acts, myself. "Care your own business please", I keep repeating this over and over again in my head.

And oh! The Hunger Games' trilogy is goooooood! I mean GOOD! Really. I fall in love with those stories. Lots of things we can feel and find inside those books compared to the film. I hope Catching Fire won't disappoint me, since I've read all of them..

Anyway, if any of you curious about something, and maybe I can help you by telling a story of what I know in this blog, feel free to ask me. I have lost words to type these days. Nothing really get to my nerves to write, even my readers seem so dead to me.

Friday, December 7, 2012

So Bad To Me


Cause you’re like caffeine, I can’t fall asleep all night
My heart keeps racing and again, I hate you
Like caffeine, I try to stay away
I try to forget about you but I can’t do it, I can’t help it




 this song is ear-gasming me these days

Sunday, November 25, 2012

It just happens

Sorry if I fall in love.


Friday, November 16, 2012

First

ummm..
first day.... i should say.... boring? Nothing much to do, I wasted almost 9 hours sitting, browsing for some unnecessary stuffs. ugh. I feel like if this is what people call as work, then I'll better do house-works. .____. You understand the level of boredom?
Anyway, I haven't found the bag that I wanted, the pola films that I need. oh my. tonight will be super hectic!
And the worse you know what? Yesterday was the last episode of Nice Guy! and I didn't have time to watch it either last night or tonight!!! :(((( So sad! no matter what I do, I won't sleep tonight before I finish arranging all my stuffs, tidy up my pig-dorm-like room, and watch Maru & Eun Gi!!!!!! I promise!


Caris

Sunday, November 4, 2012

NVR

I know. I know it very well that I'll never blend among them completely. I don't know when did I find out that I'm actually just another stranger trying to fit into them, yet I fail. Yes, it's heart-breaking to admit, but I'll never be one of them although it seems to be the other way around.

Maybe I'm just too tired. Tired of being treated differently. Tired of giving too much care that others treat you differently. Being treated nicer doesn't mean it will always make you happy. One day you'll just realize you are too far that you barely reach them in some points. Are they really those people? Those people that I mean to stick to until the end?

I just don't feel like that anymore. 

This is not envy, i promise. It's not because I saw photos, news, tweets or stuffs like that. It's just sometime when you realize they are much more happier without you. Get what I mean? This is one of my reasons why I keep pushing myself not to go back hometown for work this year-end. I keep telling myself 'you are not good enough to show yourself there, it's just not the right time.'

I know I have had this particular 'sickness' in me since long ago. Uncured illness, when my body and mind just LOVE to pull herself away from people that she actually care about. Yes, that stupid illness. 

Maybe one day you will understand what I feel.
Maybe not now.
Maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next month, next year, or never.
Now?
It's just a big hole inside me. However, it is not painful. The thing is, because I don't feel anything anymore beside being tired and plain, I get to worried about myself. At least I feel something before, either it's painful, hurt or whatsoever. It's scarier because now I feel like I have nothing to lose.
That hole is just so round and deep like i have no one, no one to lose among my friends.
no one really try to hang on there and make me fight for him/her.
too flat that i think everyone is just as fake as others.


I'm sorry if anyone's offended by this post, I don't mean that way. It's femmepurplelicious' anyway.

Friday, November 2, 2012

;)

So there it goes.
the storm of November for the entire Medanese. ;)

Told ya, don't tell me that I didn't warn y'all before.
hihi.
Enjoy the effect for those who know, and please stay curious who are still wondering what's happened.It will hit you sooner or later. :)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Men Are All Like That


Kim Jong Kook - Men Are All Like That
It's true, men are all like that. They treat ladies just like toys, their guitars, cameras.
Bored? Get rid of them.


I beg a pardon for my fanaticism upon Song Joong Ki these days.
He is to die for in Nice Guy.


It's in fact a really interesting story to be addicted in.
Give it a shot. Oh, if you find Joong Ki is damn nerd in the first episode, it's okay, you won't get enough of him after a few episodes. Nice Guys is currently on its 16th and will end at 20th.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

S4 ft Hyuna

Should be proud right, Indonesia?


At least you show us that you know what 'taste' means.
Need improvements though.
Good!

정말

Really - Song Joong Ki

It just released today.


It's famous for its heart-breaking lyric

Monday, October 29, 2012

Happiness.


look at that.
look at how happy we were back then.
look at how much fun we had in that moment.




miss you.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

-.-

Good Morning, 잠꾸러기... 
I guess I miss someone right now.


Friday, October 26, 2012

help.

having a quite tough time to cure this heartache yet on the other hand trying to stop this thing growing deeper inside me.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Am I Just.... Stupid ?

Feel so disappointed over myself right now. Like what I have done these years are just dust and meaningless.
sigh.
what am i doing now?

I realize that every time I face this kind of situation, I just find myself as a stupid. Too stupid in everything I do. Never really found the comfort of doing things.

What am I actually ?
Am I really that coward ?
that stupid ?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Just If

How if. Just if.
One day you can't find me here anymore?
I think it should be fine, right?
Nothing will really affect your life?

How If. Just If.
One day I decide to push myself away.
Far away.
What would you do?

How If.Just If.
I have started it.
I am doing it right now?

What would you say?

Aura Dione

I heard of her voice while accompanying my girlfriends' shopping, and then I understand why I'm attracted to her songs after checking her out. Enjoy.


i like the lyrics below

 

and maybe other ones? Can check out Aura Dione on google if you are interested after this post.



One Inspiration





 







She has always been that 'it' girl. 
purely inspiration.

remember this?


Inuyasha :)

Monday, October 22, 2012

There You Go Again


... But baby there you go again, there you go again making me love you.
I stopped using my head, using my head let it all go.
And now i'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you.



So I cross my heart, and I hope to die, 
that i'll only stay with you one more night.

Tasteless

 My sister told me last night that I look pretty much like an insane lady talking to herself on twitter. I guess it's just an after effect from not talking to myself over a month in my blog?

I have been feeling this 'emptiness' upon me this week. Unlike my usual birthday, I did passed it quite smoothly this year, no more burst into tears, but maybe this is the after-effect of it. Recently I have this urge upon me to do lots of things in my life, I want to change this and that. As you may know, I'm quite a quicky bored person. I get bored over something fast. So, let me tell you this story. a short one.

I knew this so called human. I usually share things or my plans to him. let's just use the subject 'him', okay? But then after sometime, maybe both of us lost our so called 'quality time?' and never really gained that back anymore. I don't know is it really because of the hectic situation or it's just because one of us doesn't willing to listen to each other's story anymore. I just want to stop guessing. It isn't like we are in some kind of 'a must listen to me' kind of relationship, but then, I realize then when I try to tell him how we have lost this kind of chatime, for him this kind of chat may not be as important as how I view it to be. I don't know how to express myself by now, knowing that he may not realized how much I've valued his opinion so far in most of my decisions. I may say, I'm disappointed. There's so much stuffs I have wanted to share to him, so much plans I've done that I really want to share with him. But then I guess by now.... I have given up on many things. many chances that i imagine might possible to be true. Can I call this kind of thing as a disappointment? 

Maybe he'll never realize how I have put things together so that I might be someone who may be there or at least try to be reached by him anytime if he needs help. really. i just tired of being so 'nicely' being there everytime that I wanted to stop by now. I'm exhausted. I'm used to wake up early just to wake this person up in the morning, I'm used to open my messenger tabs although I don't really use it, it's just for me to be easily reached by him if he need to. So please, don't use busy as an excuse. I understand more than anyone how you have set your goals, trust me. It's just... sometime, I feel much less important than how you have described me to be. If it's so, maybe we should just stop saying things that we can't fulfill from the beginning. Because truthfully if I may say, I keep words seriously, faithfully, and when I trust words I mean it. It's just a heartache every single time I experience this. I will never pick on him, I will never blame on him, maybe it is just me and my mind+heart problem on expecting too much. I believe so.



Sunday, October 21, 2012

Fortune Cookies? It Isn't My Luck This Time

        Many surprises, sad experiences, and excited news over these weeks since I left you, B. It's been awhile of course and I... am grateful for that? I guess so. I am 20 by now and lots of things are changing in my life. Not only mine I guess, but yours too? You just choose not to accept it. maybe.

        Many times I thought of writing again, but then I think, I haven't found a new reason for me to 'start over', to write again. I know this kind of statement may be harsh for B and FemmePurplelicious' loyal peepers. I apologize for being that way. However, I really hope you'll understand me for doing so. I really want to stop being a blogger who feel like she knows 'everything' about her readers and how they feel toward her post. I want to stop being a blogger who feels like she gets more attention from a particular person just because that 'living body' has been a loyal peeper of her daily routines since back then and tend to know much more about her than any other people. I want to stop misinterpret that kind of attention until I can really forget that 'living body'. Okay, I learn to appreciate my feeling more than I used to, and I understand that without being awfully exaggerating, I need to at least express and 'say' what I feel. So, the term 'forget' here means to stop liking a person. You know that like, like. I won't use the word 사랑 here, it sounds cheesy. and fake. I would just describe the word like here for me (at least what I feel) is to be able to fall again.and again. and again. and again. for every single different occasion when I met that living body. Even-though I hardly know that person anymore, we hardly talk normally-friend-normal. I don't understand why. Maybe it's just my stupid heart and head. That is why most of the time I decided not to go back hometown. That living body has been so much irresistible that I want to go out there and find any other person,whoever he is, to make me amnesia. (wtf, this is what I call cheesy. lol)

     And if this living body is reading this right now. I would like to say 'stop looking at yourself as a person that is remembered only because people need you' . start to value yourself more. I understand that you know me well that we never talk about this anyway, it has been only me since couple of years back then, which means it's fine, as long I don't need to be awkwardly cheesy all the time. It's perfectly fine (only in some ways though), I might just need to struggle with myself for sometime, like staying away from blog and stuffs. You are a very beautiful person, you just need to admit it.

Anyway, I guess I need to post photos here, don't I ?
I have been pushing myself with this revenge plan I have. It's been going well. I just need 7 more freakin kilos and I'm set. This is what I call as my revenge to be appreciated. I'm sick of enduring others all the time. I guess it's my time to be mean, isn't it?









me. a month ago.



it's raining now. Blue Sunday?
I haven't receive a freakin call from that company. shoot me please. *cryariver*


P.S. There will be a nerve-wracking-exciting-news for you all in November. Stay curious please.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I...


I found this thing as interesting to post.
so, maybe i'll open this blog for awhile.
for some posts that i need to do.
i'm planning to shut this down cause i don't find the meaning of having it anymore.
Nevertheless, i found myself need sort of a 'body' for me to type and people who listen to me silently.
i don't know.
i'm pretty messed up..

anyway, how's life without me?
Fun, isn't it?

oh,maybe try google the eng subs for the lyric will be a nice try for anyone who's reading this. Frankly, this is not intentionally why i put up this video, but i'm googling the english lyric and haha, it's just somehow what i feel.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

What



i heard uncertainty these days.
nothing tell me the truth.
no one willing to tell me something then?

shall I remain like this, pretending to know nothing?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Dare?

umm, i'm deleting this blog soon.
I've deleted some things that I've never dare to delete before, but yes, i did it.
so, i think this one too.
and maybe one day the other big things I've never dare to delete, will soon not visible in my contact list?

am fallin' for this




"Tomorrow my day will start like nothing is wrong and forget you. 
I'll just remaining here, smiling, as I pray for you to be happy."

so, leave me.




 Anyway, as usual, love T.O.P beyond others :)) 
and I should say Taeyang's voice in the first phrase is just beautiful..

Sunday, August 19, 2012

"Hi, bye...."












I believe you'll understand, it is a 'hi' or 'bye'.

Friday, August 17, 2012

In Need Of Entertainment

I don't find anything interesting this whole day. sigh.
Can I have something really exciting in my life ? Maybe it'll be nice if some important aspects just change ?
Honestly, most of the time I feel like I'm dreaming, the fact that I am living in this place seems like a dream for me, not real at all, most of the time I'll feel confuse on my life, am I actually alive or not? Because all of this become worse and boring after awhile. Yet I know this will get better since it's just like a dream, if it's the worst nightmare, I'll just wake up from that dream. 
I don't feel real at all. :s I wonder why is it like that.
hmph. entertain me please.... =_=

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Worn Out

well, just manage my hectic day and rest a bit.
I've got the total of about 11 hours tutorial + lecturers today, insane right? One of my lecturer today came out to be so killer that I'll rather kill myself then make her killing me slowly but sure >< Her name is Kerri Kato, google it, maybe she's there on the web as one of the entrepreneur? and I arrived home at 9pm. sucks. but then ding dong~ bunch of people welcome me at home... super duper 'alive' atmosphere is here, by tomorrow all of my silly cousins from Medan will be completely here. dunno how to squeeze in this house though. haha ==a but then it's always fun, isn't it... to have kid playing around you, and at least people for you to talk to when you go home, with lights are on everywhere. It always dark when I went home here, no one open the lights or even welcome you home. Maybe that's what I miss most besides my buddies when I'm here. This thing always succeed when it came to persuade me giving up my study here. I can't always stand silence, I'm nurtured in a warm and alive home.

Okay, I'm so so so tired tonight that I might just try to sleep after this post, I planned to chat awhile before sleep though, yet it appears to be impossible since that person who usually accompany me for this sort of 'midnight therapy' go to watch a movie that I've never got a chance to watch till now, yup, Total Recall. *sigh*  .________.

Hmm, tomorrow may also be another tiring day, hope it'll be exciting!


Miss you,guys!
Have a nice sleep if you read this before your sleep, and good day for everyone who read this tomorrow morning/noon ;)

I'll make sure I sleep tight tonight! *yawn yawn yawn*

Oh! Happy Independence Day, Indonesia. 
You are progressing to be better,  keep it up, I really want to know how does it feel to be able to feel proud of my country all the time :pp

Anyone? Anybody?

Hai, I'm bored with my lecture's voice by now... This class has been 2 hrs, I more hour to go :/  I've tried doodling to offend my bored self, yes it didn't work well I guess. So here I am, blogging through  my friend's iPad, and currently thinks tabs or tablets are fun for college, i'm required to take my laptop almost everyday, it wont be a problem for me if i've a car or something like that here == i must carry that heavy thing all day walking round here........ 

I'm thinking of changing my phone to Gnote after I face some workloads this week, shall I do that? But I still considering it since most of you are using bb, my family too, what shall I do? :s  

Sigh, these days my blog has been pretty cold don't you think? Nothing new inside it, and I barely know what's interesting for you to read. Any suggestion anyone? I'm tired talking to myself through entries. Neither do one actually giving me feedbacks nor leaving impression about posts by ticking the adjectives boxes under the posts or leaving comments.

Hmm, does any of you want me to share or post about some particular thing? Tell me..
Before I'll start my whole hectic semester, I'll love to spend my time with you.. Oh ya, forget to tell y'all, I'm officially not going back town in December, even if I do, it'll only be 1 week? I guess so. I think it has been your turn to visit and play with me here. Hh. Okay, don't blame me about that rising SGD, I curse it for being damn high too.... *sigh*

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Emm? Hmm? Err...

Guys, watch this video, what do you think 'bout it? Have you seen version 1?




I'll just share my opinion here, no judgement please....
Honestly, I hate this song sang by Hyuna, I dislike it very much that I decide to share it with you uys to know what you think about it. :| Hyuna is just so...... eww?

Morning Everybody :)

Hi, guys..
Annyeong, good morning :) Have a early class today, at 9 actually, woke up at 6 thanks to someone who excitedly Ping me for more than 10 times ._. So, I don't know what to do now since I woke up earlier, am waiting the clock shows 8am and I'll go down to catch my bus, usually it took 30-40 minutes to school, I wonder will it be hectic and longer time since today's earlier.

Okay, just posting this randomly at random time. See ya pretty later guys.
Oh, my granny is going home this evening, and another bunch of people are coming tomorrow. I don't know what to feel and say currently, got some stuffs to be done and they're all here :s I'm glad that I'll have people accompanying me, on the other hand, I can't seems to accompany them to here and there. ck. Pray for me that I can manage my time well, I'll need to arrange my schedule again pretty soon, internship is coming! ><

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ignored Once

ck. Honestly I don't understand how long this crush will stand still inside me. It's been too long, and if I still let this be, I don't know who'll get hurt. Some things need patience and time, just like removing someone from your heart and mind would not as easy as clicking the del button on your laptop. I get it. But isn't this means I'm torturing myself? Yet I don't want to repeat harsh things anymore, so what should I do? I thought it was gone once, but it seems like it actually remains in the corner of my vain somewhere and showed up again. 
I need to be a better person and a 'good enough' person before all of this start again. I hate myself in some way that I think I'm not even good enough to stand and show myself. I must be a new person who deserve to be treat like others had. 
The problem is, I don't appear to be able to take a step away from that human being. == i hate this. Just in time I think I would be acting weird, again, I won't be a normal good friend. People in my situation will understand me. Yet, on the other hand, I can't seems to find another thing/ person that can blown my mind away. ck. I hate this seriously. If only I don't burden anybody. *sigh* ck, feels like banging my body especially head to the wall, let all the memories vanish and simply be new. 
haha.
How nice would it be?
No heart broken, no pain, yah..... maybe some frustration for not knowing who's myself or some other people, right? *big big sigh*

@Tomm_mY


Kalau Kim Joong Kook punya HaHa di Running Man yang dia jadiin brother, gw punya yang satu ini. :) *Whatever deh kalau ini adalah perasaan yang bertepuk sebelah tangan, sah2 aja, kekekekee* A gentler, tinier, funnier, wiser HaHa. :3 Seumur-umur gue ngga pernah prediksi bahwa cowo ini bakal jadi orang yang benar-benar ngubah cara pandang gue tentang keluarga, tentang berpikir panjang, apalagi mikul beban orang lain yang banyak dan gedenya najis itu ke atas pundak kita sendiri. But he did it, he still does. Nae dongseng! :DD

Gue percaya, cowo yang satu ini banyak berubah dari pertama kali gue ngenal dia. 
Apa momen pertama gue tentang abang si Sanny ini? 
"Eh, cowo itu lucu juga, punya gaya, narinya bagus ya.
Yup, gue ngenal dia saat dia lagi asik"nya goyang tuh pas latihan di pentas buat acara tamatan SMP, he wasn't as great as he is now, but he's shining at that moment. Itu yang buat gue bertanya-tanya kira-kira mau ga iah dia gabung ke UKDC sewktu kami ini ditakdirin Daddy buat sekls pas SMA, eh2.....terakhirnya jadilah dia gabung juga, gimana seluk beluknya... lupa dah gue. Then cowo ini mulai nekunin dunia yang dulu mungkin serasa samar atau sekedar hobi (?) buat dia, dan jadilah dia yang sekarang ini. :) Anak bangga yang makin bangga yang selalu ngga punya takdir baik sama ponsel"nya belakangan ini. Momen paling lucu selama gue 'partner'an bareng dia di dalam grup mungil itu ya pas dia keuh-keuh mau gendong si @VeronicaMilas, pas dia SECARA SENGAJA maki nyokap gue lewat bbm GUE, dan setiap kali dia 'bermesraan' dengan soulmatenya yang kebetulan juga terdaftar di dalam tim mungil kami. I cherish every single moment we had :) It was so so so much fun, opera van java lewat deh, hihi, harusnya dulu gue bikin dia nangis mencak-mencak aja yah pas ngajarin 4 orang bandel yang otaknya pentium 1 abis diajarin koreografi Alan Luo. hihi. 

Gue heran kenapa di momen-momen saat gue uda mulai give up tentang beberapa faktor didalam hidup gue, Daddy ngenalin gue ke dia, orang yang ga mau nulis nama di setiap Letter of Questnya tapi secara frontal dia pake kertas notesnya 'Mawar Sharon' wkwkwkkwkwkwkwkwkwwkk. bego ga sih? =pp But he's a great and nice writer indeed, he wrote nicely in those letters, I keep it well. :) Enak buat curcol nih, despite that dia sering banget ketiduran atau ga balas ditengah jalannya chat/smsan. =,=  He's a creative and lovely buddy, and until today he's the only one who successfully made me smile widely with his surprise gift, it's nothing much though, but I really" treasure it. :)) 

Gue masih ingat gimana 'intense'nya gue dan cowo metropolitan ini dulu pernah ga ngomong selama...... berapa lama? I forget. Seriously hilarious. hhahaha. Gue ingat gara" itulah gue denger lagu "That Should Be Me' nya Justin Bieber yang liriknya dia post di wall fb, maklum, wktu itu blm begitu ngetrendnya galau-galauan massal di twitter. hhhh. Galau di twitter ngetrend setelah zaman-zamannya...... tweet" ga berbalas yang bikin ended up ngetweet ngomong sndri di tengah malam, subuh-subuh. haha. Okay, back to topic, actually thank for dance routines that we must did for the sake of Quest, we ended up our quarrel and..... we get used to each other better than before. :) Cowo 29 Juli ini bukan seseorang yang blak-blakan pada tempatnya, kalo masalah being funny and spontaneous, he's the one, orang yang hampir 24 jam bersama orang lain selalu pasang muka berseri-seri. But I think he's not actually that kind of person, most of the time he took something seriously tapi ga tau gimana bagusnya buat ekspresin apa yang dia pikirin. Gue selalu nganggap that's a special part of him being himself. Itu yang ngebuat dia itu... dia, genuinely. What I feel grateful by having him in my life is that he always always always bring happiness to people next to him. It's a gift, don't you think? ;)

Seharusnya banyak yang gue omongin tentang anak ini di dalam entry gw ini,banyak yang mau gue share atau ungkapin tentang buddy gue ini, tapi begitu waktunya buat nge-type-in smua smua smuaaaanya ke dalam words yang enak dibaca, I'm actually speechless.
Gw rasa kalian para readers femmepurplelicious yang ga kenal anak ini bakal bosen deh ngebaca isi buddy post gw yang kebanyakan gue anggap 'strong' karena uda banyak menginspirasi gue di dalam hidup. Whatever, but I think buat semua orang yang kenal anak ini, 90% of them will agree with me that this guy here really effects your life. Yah, mungkin mempengaruhi kalian dalam aspek-aspek yang berbedalah.

This guy here one said this to me, *kira-kira lah ya* "I like you (being my friend, ofcourse) because you never see me as another person (strange person) after you get to know me. You never get to pity me."
Sebenarnya, that's exactly yang gue rasain tentang the so called chincia gue ini, he knows me, accept me well,and gue merasa dia ngerti dan ngerasain apa yang gue alamin, dan instead of cry and whine, he work his life. yah, maybe gue ga pernah tau he's being sincere or not, but as long as I am, I hope he does too. Cowo ini adalah seseorang yang paling-paling bisa membuat gue bangga dan malu secara bersamaan, bagi orang-orang yang mengenal dia lebih dari gue, I think you get what I mean. Dia ga pernah whining, perhatiin deh, dia ngga pernah sekalipun mengutarakan apa yang dia mau secara langsung, always in his way, like we need to guess it right somehow. yah, most of the time sih dia sukanya deny himself dan ujung-ujungnya nyesal sendiri. He always do that to himself, I wonder why. ==a Dia tuh seseorang yang menurut gue harus dijadiin role model secara usia kami ga terpaut jauh, I somehow ashamed with myself for being this spoiled while looking at a daring person like him going out there struggling.

Many times I think, how fun will it be to have a prson like him inside my family. Secara I'm alone, dan he gets what I feel, I somehow treats him like my own brother. So far, I got one 'annoying sister' and one 'childish brother', isn't it sounds perfect? hihihihi. He sticks well with my cousin, bagi kalian yang pernah membuktikan dengan mata kepala sendiri gimana childish nya dia main congklak bareng ade gw, your mind will blown away. hahahaha. I truly like him as a sibling. Guess what, most of the time I can get really suspicious with person he likes, ck, tau kan gimana rasanya kalo sodara lu punya gebetan? Penasaran dan jealousy yang somehow aneh dan menjijikkan itu? Itulah ya pokoknya. ahahahahaha. Gue sangat berharap dia cepat-cepat merealisasikan crush nya itu, uda brp taun, bro???? Mau tunggu cewenya imigrasi ke negeri lain buat kuliah?? =="

Ck, apa penyesalan gue sampai disaat gue nulis post ini? Semenjak tamat SMA smpai skrg, gue dan cowo yang ga tahan spicy ini hubungannya mulai renggang (cieileh hubungan cyin... XDDDD ) hhhh. Yah, mungkin pengaruh waktu, distance dan pergaulan juga, ga banyak yang bisa kami ber2 omongin lagi sekarang, kalaupun ada, stuck dan speechless di tgh jalan. Sad isn't it :'( Sedih juga sekarang karena our schedule uda berbeda-beda, sibuknya juga uda beda-beda, banyak hal yang ga bisa gue share ke dia, mungkin ga sempat? Gue ga ngerti juga. Makin sedih pula gue, karena swktu Daddy ngasih kesempatan buat gue ketemu dia selama....3 weeks? ga benar" gue manfaatin dengan baik, gue belum sempat cerita banyak hal ke dia, bukan karena gue ogah atau ga mau, tapi karena somehow... gue merasa ada sesuatu yang membuat gue ga bisa cerita ke doi. Situasi dan kondisi mungkin? Padahal nih, guenya uda excited jauh-jauh hari sebelum dia balik hometown. I planned to plan something around his time back there, but than, what I did is nothing. Not even a thing for his birthday :'( somehow I feel so wrong and guilty of myself. sigh. Damn, I feel like I'm talking bullshits right now, but yup, you don't know what I feel. hmphf. Penyesalan besar sampai saat gue balik ke kandang singa ini ya itulah... I don't know where did it go wrong. I planned lots of fun things to do together with our tiny group's members but then it never happens in those 3 months of holiday, I don't even get a photo to stick in my wallet. Rasanya ini seperti.... apa ya, main game sampai 3 level terahir dan mati lampu, datanya hilang semua. begitu?

Dan akhirnya, yang bener-bener bisa gue lakuin cuma ngepost entry yang delay nya ampun-ampunan ini, bantu arrange acara nginap dan birthday bash dia, thankyou buat yang uda bela-belain ngebantu gue buat setidaknya ngabulin acara keroyokannya itu. That's it. Horrible isn't it? .____________.


Okay,maybe this is kinda short brief about my buddy,Toti.
lastly... gue bakal ngucapin birthday dan pesan tertunda (hoeks, delayed notes nih ceritanya)

ehm!

Happy Bithday, chincia, I always hope all things and plans work well on you, everything that you wanna do, I believe you mention it on your prayer every single day, and I know you'll never walk on a wrong path. You are strong and I believe you know that Daddy is still working on you. I know that we never really share anything anymore, there is but it's around some "hi-hello-howareyou-fine", or maybe nothing really goes on in our new life. Yet what I've wanted to say through this entry here is that no matter how ignorant I am, how selfish,bossy,horrible you might see me in my life now, never forget that you can still share with me like we used to, no letters to send though, but I think email or private comments here would do if you'ld love to, I would really love to know how's your days and problems if you need someone to share with. I know you love new people, and I know you'll hardly forget the old ones, but if you do forget those oldies, please don't include me inside, I still need you as part of my small family. We are still in it together, no? :)
I'm sorry if I've became a person who never really help you before, sometime I just find myself useless for not being able to help my buddies with my own strength, pray for me that one day i will, and don't forget to teach me to be as dependable as you, I would thrilled to be like one. :D

I'm crying over myself since now you are older by a year but you look younger than your actual age. =3= envy you! =p

Keep on fighting~ hoi hoi! *muter2 telunjuk* ;p

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Giving Up


Hi hi... have been pretty exhausted these days, I beg a pardon for hardly post something interesting these days. ><
So, one of my gorgeous ladies were competing in one of the big modelling competition in town yesterday, and guess what? She got the top place among others! I'm so happy for her, and so so so so so glad that she's been kind of consulting things before with me :) *it's an honor,Your majesty~* *bowbowbow* kekekekekeke She's an intellectual lady, knowledgeable, and interesting if I may say, one of the strongest people I know and one who will actually achieve whatever she planned to get. :) 0% doubt in her :D  Pretty disappointed that I can't accompany her yesterday since I'm here, Thank to Daddy that my mom's super excited to follow her like a fan. hihihi. Oh, and I also got one of the MOST SHOCKING NEWS I've ever heard this year, I lost my appetite once I heard it, so sad that I still can't share it with you guys now, I know it will be a hot issue for the entire 2012-2013 I bet. :| and I'm soooooooo..... burden? since I'm the only one who know it by now, can't even share my thoughts with anybody :'((

I found that Pinterest is super duper interesting for me, I can find lots of useful stuff there, recipes, pictures, whatever, mind to join? Especially ladies, I know you'll just find this as a fresh excitement :3

Oh, and I back to a long chat with my pretty caring friend :) am currently enjoying my days, got a person who accompany me for late night chats again. Well, maybe it'll only works because this is still holiday season, will be different soon when university schedule is up and he'll obviously vanish from radar, like he used to, just hope he'll be healthy and won't sick. :\  Now I think and re-think again, maybe it'll be just fine to let the time speak, and Que Serra, Serra. Whatever will be will be, as long as we know that we must have a line in controlling other's life, and have a straight line between just and more than just a friend, I think it'll work just fine. *I hope so* *finger crossed* Besides, I'm currently in a heart-braked mode, haha. Well maybe I think it'll be better for me not to talk about it over and over again while I still feel the same way, and just let myself and mind think about other person or just think about myself. Since I feel really blurred and mixed.  I think I am going to give up, since nobody tell not to...

"I'm giving up, not because it is hard but because I did all that I could but still, nothing changes."


I won't try to impose my will or feeling towards you.
:) 
not trying to hurt anybody's mind or heart.

promise.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Once It Was

" Now, in the same place "we" has changed into "other people"
   Even though one of us would shed tears,
   Seeing you keep trying not to hurt me,
   I hate that I noticed your hint given with your eyes...


   so I'll let you go. "




reminds me of something.someone.a situation.





" Were we aiming for different things from long time ago? "



Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I'm Not A Monster, Why Won't You Try To Love Me?

I fell in love with Megan Lee's voice once she open that closed lips and sing the first phrase of this song.


Gonna use this as my background music once I edited this blog. :)

Friday, July 27, 2012

Ohayo

hi,hi. ended up sleepin only for 2-3 hours last night, therefore I woke up quite early this morning and now I'm quite dizzy.
The connection is quite fast and steady now :D much better than yesterday.
May this song brighten your day!
Good day!


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Enough is enough





Start to appreciate me, I'm no longer taken for granted.



Ask me why?

 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Bitter? Sweet? Sour? Tasteless?

A rare morning post today I suppose.. It'll soon be officially 2 weeks left for me to stay here... which means.......short :(: Am copying some dvds from Tommy now, I gifted them to him a year ago and didn't manage to make backups back then. hmm, I'm thinking of changing my blog appearance again, what do you guys think? Should I arrange it simply so you would easily listen to musics while reading? Or should my blog remain like this? Comment please, people~~

Last night me and my High School mates went for dinner at Lekker... had quite fun time with them.


Sad that some of us couldn't join the night though, it has been a year since our last gathering here.

Oh, I went to a little so called meeting on Thursday night, three of us share stories and experiences, quite fun to make some stuffs clear and didn't remain as gossips, know some story about others (read: it's not talking BAD about others behind them 'kay) One said to me that it's okay to talk about others as long as that person is not harmed. kekeke. Who's agree? So, that night we went for short dinner, chats, short yoghurt desserts and chit chats, this is when I found that I'm actually not alone while struggling from my own feeling. :) It's been quite some time  since I had this kind of chat, private yet meaningful. I used to plan to have this kind of chat with that person who's going back on Sunday, but then, I don't think Daddy agrees on that point, I didn't even got a chance to really talk personally as a friend with him. :'| I miss a lot of things this holiday, not as 'rindu' but as 'kehilangan / ketinggalan' , if you guys understand. sigh. I don't know how to fix my own self. It's not like I'm not happy though, I am, but then... some part of me is confused, rather disappointed? left? lonely? unsatisfied? flat? omg. i don't know. .......... Seems like a plate of yummy looking food without a fine taste. It's not salty enough nor is it sweet.