Friday, December 31, 2010

Sorry and thankyou =D

Hi.... Its 31st now.
The last day of 2010,lots of things had happened in this year.... =)
Lots of meaningful things that I want them to be everlasting.
I met lots of new people, I knew parts of them which I never knew before. Thanks, people, you let me know you at least just a dot from who you are.
Maybe I've done too many foolish things, like now, I actually have tons things to do,but I'm sure I have done nothing till now. =="
Mood will always just be mood. Should move on. Time's ticking n I'm far away behind those people. ><

I'm pretty sure I've wasted some of my quality time to be with my friends,when will I realize that something like this sure can make a big REGRET HOLE next year? haha. I can't even dream about days without high school,it's happening within these months. ><
No more teachers,no more my school,no more scolding,no more uniforms,no more break time,no more friends like I have had,no more me like this,no more you guys,my friends. TT
You know, it's kinda hard to admit that every single meeting will end with a seperation....It's just a matter of time and how fast will we have it.

Well,I want to say sorry to all of you, to ones who're hurt by me,to ones who're annoyed by me,to ones who're lied by me,to ones who don't like me at all....
at least give me a second to thanked you, for you have let me be one of those people that ever live in your life.
I'm greatful.... =]

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I pass today

my theme for today : uring-uringan

Gonna post this one in Bahasa.
Umm,sbnrnya ngga gitu asyik sih nulis dalam bhsa indo, memank dasar gwnya orang indo dodol yang nulis aja ngerasa ga sreg pke bhsa Indo =="
Hmm....kinda uring-uringan hri ini.I mean WHOLE DAY.
Yang lucu ga berhasil bikin ktwa.Yg menyedihkan juga ga berhasil bikin gw nangis. 
so random..
Umm,one of my friend td tweet,katanya dy ngilangin text yg uda dy ketik buat bls k gw~ =3=
Ck,sebel juga sih bisa hilang,pdhl uda pengen bca ap sih yg bikin dy cape2 ktik sepanjang itu...ntr dy ngetik ulang psti uda beda jaoh isinya sama yang pertama.Moga-moga isinya sih tetep penuh cinta kyk yg dy tweet. wakakakakakakaka. XDDDD
I just love being a friend of him, =] kecil.kayak anak2. XDDDD (hope this one could be invisible when he read my blog wkwkakakaka!)
Moga-moga besok bisa berjalan lancarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Ga ada yang aneh-aneh ato stuck d tgah jalan.

Wonder when ini barang bru di ingat sama yang punya,oh iya,gw taro mana ya tu barang? Ga lucu kalo ilang! Bukan punya gua! *cham lo cham lo~~~ 

Monday, December 27, 2010

Today or not.

I'll let it be tonight.
if today's not my fate, then I'll let it be the 2nd month.
I spend today by hanging out with some of my friends, not a really special occasion, but yeah...quite fun.
Still kinda left something behind.can't really enjoy the ticking time.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Noon,25th December 2010.
Merry Christmas,my friends......

Umm,i don't know why am I start typing and writing here again now. =="
Am I just passing by to say,"Hey,I think I find out an answer" ?
I'm getting crazier day by day.
This holiday is way to boring.
No one's home. 
I'm all alone.
Like I used to be.
Should I call this a christmas? I don't think so.


Everything won't flow as before.
I think it won't back to that time. 
Time's ticking, leave me alone again.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Another Night

Hey,finally typing again tonight.
In the night before christmas,in the night surrounded by fireworks and traffic jams.
I hardly type this,tonight seems to be another night for me. It's not a christmas eve.Think 'bout it again, seems like it's getting harder to find christmas in every 'another christmas'. I want that christmas back, when I woke up in the morning with tons of wishes and hope,tons of curiosity and joy. I do miss that kind of 25th December I had.With my family here with me. Not like tonight. all alone. watching a K-drama from my compie and enjoying a glass of A&W alone.
maybe I'm a fool who keep waiting for things to be different.

I barely forget to tell you about last night. A night of 23rd December 2010,the day my friend turned 18th and the day I finally know what I'm missing these years. I miss her,my friends,and all that joy I used to have. I finally realize it again that no matter how hard I try,it'll always something different between them.

I had a sleepover party too yesterday. Questers came to my house and played silly truth or dare. I find myself missing something that nite. I don't know how to describe it. 
You know,that thing I'm trying to forget about. It's getting harder and harder to do,i mean,to completely wash out everything in my mind. I couldn't bare it,when some things successfully make me forget my intension to be a normal person again for that person. (I'm kinda rude by saying "that person",like he's done something wrong to me. ==") I'm searching for a right time to talk. For that I'm waiting almost every night. Just hope that person will finally realize.

Umm,maybe I'll write a little confession here. 
B, I'm kinda dissapointed too when one said that that person already get used to this condition.
If it's so, I won't regret anything again.
maybe It's better like this? haha. =]

It's really hard to push my intention to start talking while there are things which make me unwilling to do it.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

aS sOON aS pOSSIBLE

B.....
Find something or someone to cure me.ASAP.
I hate to be like this.
There's time when I start to think to end it,and there's also time like now when I want to continue being like this. 
wtf.
I hate to be confuse.
ASAP!!!!!!
><

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Some pictures..




 

I do feel alone too. X(

Wine


Is it true ?
I wonder.
Looks like this blog is really like me.alone.writing.taliking.to.me.myself.nobody.else.
I miss my friends.
I fed up easily today.
Keep thinking.
Are they those people that I suppose to call friends?
I doubt. ><

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sometimes i think i need to type here, but when this cursor move and i know i need to type words. My brain goes blank and I suddenly don't know how to describe my feelings,I dont know how to type it well to tell you,B...
How to say this?
Now I think that some people get to know me for their own purposes.... 
Maybe I'm blind. Am I that pesimistic? ><
Maybe I don't know how to trust others,do I?
Maybe I don't know how to believe.
Teach me.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Red

Hai.... =]
Tonight I spend my time typing on a red laptop which's my aunt's,chatting with a friend of mine who's having his problem (the same virus as ours,B ==" ) and telling story too to all of you who r reading this thing.
I got a text from the one who can't be typed here yesterday. A little bit surprised i suppose. And i finally end it with a really TOO THE POINT reply. ==" Regret it ofcourse. I haven't open my first letter from the one who can't be typed yet,dunno what to do with that letter. I even bring it with me to Singapore. Silly. =="
Maybe I'm that type of person who refuse to face what i need to face. ><

I can't think right now. Too much too think about.
I'm not really happy to go here,like I left something back at my hometown. 0,o

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Morning

Morning. It's 15th December 2010.
I wish today could be the day i let my body rest. Too scared that it still won't let problems go away from my mind and won't stop thinking. =="
I really hope I'll find my answer in these 5 days. ><

There's 1 from the entire 25 which i haven't really open.
It's the one that get the rank of my first letter in my list. -_-

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Another caption

Will never mind me.
I'm going to have another 5 days full without seeing you and all of my friends. (maybe)
See you on concert.
Wondering, how will my body react for the complete 5 days and in the night of 21st?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

What to type?

=]
Hai.
First picture,make me think though.



I love last one. It rains...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Fox Rain

Again.I don't know what to do.
What should I do?
I don't know what's the best way to do things right.
I guess I'm not trying my best,am I?
><
I wanna jump.I wanna scream.I wanna smile like i used to.I want dance. Many things I want to do.like  I used to. But I guess time won't let me do it,right? 
..........
Just let me be the villain.
I'm getting used to it.
내 아픔이 무뎌져 버릴 날이
언제쯤 내게 오긴 할까요
한심스럽고 바보 같은 날
어떡해 하란 말인가요
(Fox Rain - Lee Sun Hee)
The day when my pain fades away,
will that day ever come?
Being so pitiful and silly,
What can I do after all? 
(Fox Rain - Lee Sun Hee)

Friday, December 10, 2010

IS YOU

Letters to Clarence
Hey,B! 
I read all the letters last night. 
Till 2 a.m. 
Send my thanks to all of my friends,they have tried to get to know me well.
Thanks too to one who try to tell me things i don't know before or things that i don't even catch up for. I appreciate it though. =]
And to one of my friend, let's call him 'T'. =D 
Your writing's fine, I love to read yours,realistic,not too over react and fun to know what do you feel at the moment you wrote those letters. I just want to read more about you,maybe i hope too high that i'll get more than a piece of paper? ahahahahahha XPPP
I don't know why i kindda miss some names when i wrote the letters? I forgot to write to some of my friends. aih =="
O ya,Christmas is coming soon.... =]
So true~ XDDD





Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The day after tomorrow. What day will it be?

Hey,B.
I think we'll meet again after I get my letters.
We decided to send the letters to the mentioned people the day after tomorrow.
The last horrible day from the entire exam weeks. =P

I'll soon read the letter. Umm,what will i tell you after I read those letters,B?
I'm wondering...

O! I forget to tell you, these holidays really makes me sick of my daily stuff. thanks God I heard a good news yesterday. X]
Even Rapunzel can't bring back my mood. wew =="
Umm,what day is today? I don't count anymore.
Hey,I'm planning to count every single letter i get. Read it and count + mention the writers' names.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Step aside.






Hey, feeling, step aside please.I want to move on and I NEED to move on.


Black one for today.

Me today


I hurt myself in every single breath I take

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

First of December

Hey,B~
typing in the office this time.
Me n friends had a BIMBEL day today =]
Quite nice.
O! my left eye can't stop kedut2-ing you know~ =="
zzzzz. It's not that annoying,but i never experience something like this one. Huff.

Umm,I'll have my Biology exam tomorrow,wish me luck! =3
Ey,tonight's 00:00 will officially be the-a-month.
Struggled enough,haven't I?