Impromptu

Since I've willingly to dedicate half an hour out of 24 hours I have to type here rather than watch TV (lol. projects are all over the place but I still prefer watching Kdrama, kay?) , let me share with you some tiny changes that has been happening to my life for the past 2...3 weeks?

Let us call this post: Impromptu.
.
.
.
(Okay, typing the title now. "Patience is virtue! *wink*" - somebody yelled this to me yesterday so fresh in mind. haha. ;) )

There were some shitty changes happened in my life.
Like I posted before, somebody is dating somebody, somebody is moving on somebody, somebody is leaving somebody. Uh-huh. The big game finally happens to the clique I've been moving-on with this past years.

The Bellas. 

I hope we'll do fine after sometime. Maybe giving-ups are the most scary plans and actions that ever happen to a 'relationship' - if  I may say - they are even more horrible than broken hearts, disappointments and angers. Agree? When someone give up on the dearest person he/she knows, it is hard to re-build the effort tower to keep on trying to fix the holes in a relationship. Fine, I hate to call it a relationship, but calling it a friendship is even nastier. I mean it. Something is just not right to call it a friendship. We are neither friends nor families, lol. Siblings? hahaha. // People who are curious about it please contact the persons involved right away, I won't spill any in my blog. Since every events and shits just happen to change faster than I ever imagine.

However, and I believe a better pathway has always been there for each of us, any of us. Either it's a lane or a highway. ;) I met more relaxed bastards full of shits that happen to learn and begin to understand what life gives and takes from you. Realistic people (not every of us, but soon to be I hope) who want to strive and.... I think I finally get it right when I talk to them. You have boundaries with this kind of clique, you talk shits but you know there is the line. We gather mostly mornings, to catch up on what's happening maybe not every day but important things. Gearing up before we start the day. I do feel blessed to have been introduced to this clique, it makes me sane at least not full of bullshits like
'Don't you trust me? Why can't you understand me? WHY?'
'Oh, another day.... head to gym.'
'New movies, anyone?'
'Let's go to the net play some sets before we off to see friends.'
'Lazy lah. Let me stay home.'
Fine, that's okay but don't dare to tell me that money, career, yourself, dream, pursue, goals, visions, family, married, future are not more important than that bullshit. Get what I mean?
Nanti lah, bisa lah nanti deh aku pikirin.
Aiyah, tan au lah itu. tan baru sio.
Santai dulu, belum, aku belum mau mikirin itu.
Wait, it's not the time yet for me to think about serious stuffs. Later lah, one day I will sit down and think about it.

My dear, time does not wait.
My dear, how many people have sprint ahead of you, one step closer to 100million dollar when you say this inside your head? Yes, nothing significantly change after you set your mind. True, but does anything great happens in a blink of eye. No.... ofcourse not. The more you wait the longer it comes to you. And maybe it will never happen to you anyway.
Okay, maybe a girl can wait, but even a wise girl will take a move step ahead making her face and body look more appealing in order to have 'future investments' - husbands - , no matter how dumb we are. Don't you agree. As for boys, when will you become men? Come on. Slap your face now, you know that human needs to drink eat breathe, and one easiest way to keep on having them is to start earning something. You know girls are humans not barbies that just need clothes no? - well even barbie clothes need money lol - So what's with all the fuss you dont have money now no girls want me and stop your nags. haha. you know you need help right, go find who can help you, you need money, cant make it by yourself, at least put some effort and get your ass up from those lazy bed and get your brain to start thinking. where can you get it from.

Stop thinking that you dont have this you dont have that, you are not equipped with wealth you are not equipped with talents, therefore you will not be able to do this do that.
Hello, you are still breathing and reading this, go find somebody who can help you to make it happen.
Start questioning yourself why are you keep on thinking that way? Is it because no one in your circle are supporting you? no one can help you? Anybody is pulling you are holding you to be better? Can you live without him and be a better person? Is there a chance for you to step out from that circle and meet others?

I believe and I have experienced it myself more than once that you want to know who you are? go and see who you stand with. They represent you. So, why don't you step ahead, become a person who strive more? Have 10k, let's try to make it 100. Can, how? I miss this kind of excitement. I really really do. I miss those people that support me this way, rather than weighting me with down sides of failure and not wanting to strive together with me. I have swallowed enough shits that hold me to get more when I know I can. I want to help those who have talents, not helping though, I think I need them too. I want him, her, them, to be together with me, pursuing something useful. Not letting their dreams buried somewhere in the cemetery.
Taking a big decision to try to communicate with new friends will be my new challenge now. And I know I must tackle this.

To somebody who might or might not read this post, I really hope you would help and support me. I have a very strong guts upon this. Let's put aside something we always had between us called 'embarrass' and 'awkward' and 'pride' and 'shy' and 'insecure' and 'un-confidence' that build this uncomfortable / tense situation between us sometime.

Just hope everything will go smoothly, hopefully after my graduation from fashion. :) Please give me strength, never ending supports and courage. I will not disappoint you as long as I can. FINGER CROSSED. hehe.

Oh well I haven't tell you guys that we call ourself

THE UGH LALAs

- breakfast club. 

The greediest people on the cliques who gather for information while choking ourselves with decent food and atmosphere.
Waking up will never be the same, Monday will not be Mondays. ;)

Selfish people who left me alone here in Singapore's Saturday morning while knowing they are bitching around in the morning over fats and other ugh lalas food. huh. Look at that bitchy and proud Egg Benedict someone took and mentioned me inside.

Response For My Friend

Seperti kaum adam dan hawa lainnya, temanmu itu juga manusia. Tidak ada salahnya jika dengan berjalannya waktu, kita kehilangan kata-kata untuk berbagi. Wajar saja, perbedaan kesibukan dapat menyebabkan terjadinya hal demikian. Tapi apalah arti kehilangan kata-kata saat bertemu dalam hal pertemanan? Apakah 'teman' hanya berarti the never ending talks - tidak habis-habisnya bercerita? Well, I don't think so.

Pikirkanlah ini, 'jauh di mata, dekat di hati'.
Mungkin terkesan alay, namun that's what a friend indeed. Aku harus akui, aku tidak memiliki beratus-ratus teman dekat, aku tidak selalu berpapasan dengan seseorang yang kukenal setiap 5 menit aku berjalan di mall atau plaza. Tapi aku memiliki teman, team, a ready fighting force that I can count on everytime I meet a fight. Isn't that how siblings work? Without whys, without whines, without mumbles but trust. I put a huge trust and loyalty usually, and I do hope and believe that everyhting I want should be done by me toward others first.

Do you believe me when I say this? :) Percaya atau tidak, menurutku.... kerenggangan pertemanan berasal dari diri kita sendiri, memberi dengan ikhlas bukan berarti meminta timbal balik bukan? Yup, that's what friendship gives us, most of the time. Well, not once or twice but many times people would take you for granted, but anyway, isn't it your choice to make him/her your friends?

Mau mengerti kesibukan teman, memulai setiap pertanyaan sepele seperti 'How are you?' 'Is there any one new that you met?' or maybe, just go on to the point kalau memang kebisuan itu terjadi 'Sepertinya kita jadi awkward ya, ngga ada yang bisa dibicarain.' Hehe. It really helps :) The key is to lower your ego and pride, to start asking. I learn this from someone, someone I've hurt and been hurt from. He was one of those amazing people in my life. Tidak selamanya mulut bisa menyampaikan apa yang ada di dalam hati seseorang, tidak jarang mungkin teman baikmu terlintas di dalam pikiranmu saat kamu sibuk bekerja, tapi mungkin kamu maupun dia tidak punya kesempatan untuk bersapa dan menanyakan kabar. Pernahkah kamu berpikir kalau maybe, terjadinya salah paham karena di satu sisi terlalu sibuk dan sisi lainnya sedang senggang? hehehehe.

Come on, kita bukan anak ABG lagi, pertemanan tidak ada yang semanis itu, pertemanan juga tidak ada yang seindah itu. Bukan berarti seseorang yang tidak memiliki kesempatan bertemu dengan teman baiknya sudah melupakan temannya itu. Lebih baik tidak bertemu, memiliki segudang kesibukan berbeda tapi dekat di hati. Daripada selalu ada di sampingmu, tapi 'memakan'mu pada akhirnya?

I've got 'siblings' around me, some in Javas, some in my hometown, some in Western countries. All of them are close to my heart eventhough I haven't talk to them maybe in the past years. Aku tidak mengatakan well kita tidak perlu bicara atau bersapa, kebanyakan yang terjadi adalah perasaan malas yang muncul karena terlalu lama tidak bertemu. Okay, this is where we show our efforts, no? To start to push those boundaries that have been built because of time and distance.

Believe me, to have ones who think and care of you from far is thousand times better than the ones who keep the distance but kill you in the end. ;)


P.s. To my buddy Duffin: Play more with your life, and you'll see life differently. Currently you've been in that repetitive motion that makes you as 'square' as you are now. Okay? ;)