Am I disappointed as myself can't be a trustworthy person for others or what?
I'm so devastated everytime I meet this condition of myself, I don't know what I want actually, what kind of ME which is behaving now. I don't know why I treat people like how I treat them presently, and who/what am I considering them as?
As what a friend of mine suggested to me, he said maybe I can't be trusted by 'some' persons because I don't even try to trust them. Actually, I trust that person we were talking about back then, but it seems until the end of my school life, I can't get any 'trust' in whatever this person is trying to say. Frankly, I get more frustated as I often feel mad at myself when I'm treated like this, am I this dull? am I this unreliable? am I this bad? I kinda feel like I'm a fail as a friend,you know, whatever you call a friend is. I don't even consider that best-friend exist anymore.
I try not to involve into others life deeper then it should be, I'm tired, trying to know others more then other people do is tiring, you know. Maybe some said this kind of habit as 'care' , but I begin to realize that what I have done can be categorized as annoying, yes? =="
It seems like people don't need this kind of friend anyway. I'm tired doing this. really. I'm stupid enough,okay.
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